Coparenting with the Narcissist: Part 2- From the Frying Pan Into the Fire

I had only been in a romantic relationship with the narcissist (Guy) for about a year and a half- at the most. But choosing to have a child with him ensured that the abuse would continue for many more years.

I didn’t know this when I chose to keep the baby. I was told by people who knew Guy that his father had abandoned him and that it was likely he would abandon his child. I was also told that his father had had his mother committed to a mental institution- just like he had attempted to do to me.

I had the baby an entire month early. It was a rough pregnancy. I was scared, tired, on edge all of the time and traumatized. I didn’t know how much worse things could get. I was about to find out when I was served with paperwork about three weeks after the baby’s premature birth from an attorney representing Guy- the paperwork asked for him to have the baby half the time, starting immediately.

Guy had never had experience with babies. He had shown me that he wasn’t very nurturing or even responsible when it came to pets and children. Guys ex-girlfriend told me (I should have taped this) that he once held a gun to his head in front of her children and threatened to blow his brains out.

Guy had a very frightening rescue dog- a large pit bull with psychological problems. The dog had bitten people- including children- and Guy had not told me this. I found out when the dog had attacked a neighbor and that neighbor called the police that the dog had a history of attacking people and this was no small dog. This dog was over a hundred pounds of muscle and very skittish. Guy didn’t really take care of him. I did. Guy put a spiked collar on the dog that caused the dog to have open skin lesions that Guy never treated.

These were part of the reasons I was uncomfortable with Guy taking our premature baby unsupervised immediately. I realized I had to find an attorney and fast to respond to his lawsuit. It wasn’t easy finding a lawyer and I didn’t know what to look for in one. I went though a few that made mistakes that really hurt my case. For example, one did not get the ex girlfriend’s testimony before claiming she had and by that point, Guy had found out that she was going to talk and threatened her kids. She did not testify after that.

I foolishly thought that the law would protect me and the kids. I had thought that the domestic violence would be taken into account and it wasn’t. It didn’t matter how much Guy lied or about what. The court did not seem to care.

To be continued..