Guide on What to NOT do it you want to be in a relationship of equals:

Subtitle: people will take and take and take and write checks that their asses can’t cash.

If someone tells you they will do something and then don’t, that is a red flag.

If you have to nag about something that your boyfriend said he would do- that’s demeaning and WILL take a toll on your self esteem.

If you care about his life and he doesn’t care about yours, time to stop investing. Doesn’t matter how cute or funny or whatever he is. If he doesn’t care, move the fuck on.

Support should come from both ends. You give and don’t get back, talk to him, that doesn’t work- rethink this.

How old are you? If you’re in you’re early 30s and okay with being jerked around, that’s one thing. But if you’re young looking and time is limited- be discerning.

Examples of giving; massages, reading books on how to have a healthy relationship, sex, sex the way he wants it, always doing what he wants to do, looking up and worrying about his medical conditions.

When you’re not getting the same or even some back- it’s a problem. Because I guarantee that he will not take care of anything having to do with your needs when he’s too busy taking all your energy and headspace.

There are men out there who believe in give and take. I am sure of it. Don’t give at the expense of yourself. He’s the lucky one, lucky he scored a chick that will do whatever he wants on command and around his schedule.

You are not his slave or his bitch to command. And if you’re being treated this way, time to look at other possibilities because this man may not be able to acknowledge that you have needs also.

And for the love of god, if you’ve neglected responsibilities repeatedly to appease him- stop immediately and focus on yourself and the people who write checks that they WILL cash.

Don’t sell yourself short. Ever.

And for fuck sake- don’t ever let a man encourage you to buy a bunch of sexy lingerie until it’s been several months. Otherwise you’re saddled with a bunch of cute clothes and no man to wear them for.

Published by kristinatehrani

Born a first generation American, half Irish Catholic and half Persian Jew, I like to write about a childhood mired in the chaos of never knowing where I stood. The only constants in my life have been reading, writing and a passion for social justice. I am a nurse, a single mother, a domestic abuse survivor, radical feminist and outspoken advocate for logic, public health, gray areas, and purposeful dialogue. I know entirely too much about sociopaths, autism, and medieval British history. I write under a pen name to protect the privacy of my family.

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