Basic Public Health and Epidemiology Information for General Audiences

Also note- much of the Covid-19 specific info is towards the bottom.

Attention- this is a work in progress.

Note: not medical advice.

Reason for this project- to give public a (hopefully) less biased view of science and to educate on public health basics.

My background: What makes me qualified to teach this subject? Extensive scientific education- have spent significant time working in public health- education, prevention, tropical diseases educating on all aspects of public health, epidemics, endemic diseases and vaccines. Graduate work as a master of science in public health. Licensed for medical practice.

General Relevant Medical Terminology Different Types of Disease Causing agents:

Antigen- something foreign in your body that will cause an immune response. Examples can be parasite, virus, bacteria, toxic chemicals, fungus.

“virus”: Infectious agent of small size that only multiples in a host (example person or animal)

Bacteria: similar to virus but more chemically “complicated”. Some live in our bodies naturally and it’s not a problem.

Microbe: a very small creature that we cannot usually see without a microscope. So viruses, bacteria, fungi, etc.

Morbidity: diseases that can ultimately strongly impact state of health- example: heart disease or obesity.

Mortality: commonly used as a “rate”- indicates how often a certain disease actually kills people. Example- heart disease kills X number of people per year.

Viral Load: *not exact definition* repeated exposure to a virus causes a person to be more likely to actually get the virus.

Pandemic: defined by the World Health Organization as “when a disease’s growth is exponential. This means growth rate skyrockets and each day cases grow more than the day prior”- source- publichealth.Columbia.edu

Therefore, according to WHO and Columbia (as well as other sources) we are no longer in a pandemic state as the disease in this case (Covid-19) is not growing at an “exponential rate”. Aka- it’s slowed down- ALOT.

Pharmaceutical Companies Target Kids: In January 2021, Pfizer finished enrolling 2,200 teens aged 12-15 in a clinical trial. Modena finished enrolling 3,000 teens aged 12-17 in its own study in February 2021- source cen.acs.org/. As of March, this age group was “approved” to receive the experimental vaccine* (*error- governmental sources were stating that the vaccine was safe for this age group and pushing for emergency authorization, but apparently not approved at this time (May 2, 2021).

How Humans Become Immune to things/How Immune System Works:

What are the different types of immunity to diseases? “Acquired by disease”- example- chicken pox. There is now a vaccine for this but it is one of the “newer” vaccines, meaning most adults have had the disease. Chicken pox is a virus, symptoms range from many itchy, red bumps all over the body lasting for a week or so to more mild symptoms such as only a few bumps. In no the cases, a person who has had the chicken pox disease is immune for life. The disease is not usually deadly. “Acquired immunity”- immune by vaccine.

What are the most common types of vaccines are how do they work?

Live vaccine: a small part of the virus or bacteria or microbe is administered usually by injection to the host (patient). The quantity of the microbe that is put into the hosts body is not enough to make him or her seriously ill, but is the most powerful and most long lasting way for the host to build immunity to the disease aside from actually having had the full blown disease. This type of vaccine usually has the most side effects and is not recommended for pregnant women, anyone who is immunocompromised due to disease or medications they make take.

Inactivated vaccine: particles of the microbe are introduced by injection to the host body and the body’s immune response reacts in a more mild way. These vaccines tend to have booster shots and traditionally do not last as long as live vaccines.

What are antibodies??

Definition of antibody: “proteins (immunonoglobulins) that are made in response to an antigen (virus, bacteria, germs, essentially) and can recognize and bind that antigen. Antibodies can help neutralize or destroy the antigen. Antibodies are highly specific in recognizing the original antigen” (source: Tortora, G. Funke, B. Case, C. Microbiology: An Introduction. 8th edition, published by Pearson. San Francisco, CA 2004*). I will continue to refer to this textbook throughout the article. Antibodies make molecules (compound structures)- an illustration will also be provided. Antibody structure (most basic) is a “Y” shape- having a “stem” and two arms. Antibodies are made by B cells.

Immunoglobulins: 5 classes: IgG- the Y shaped structure that makes up 80% of blood antibodies. Others are IgM, IgA, IgD, and IgE. IgG is most common in blood. Other immunoglobulins are more common in other parts of the body, such as mucus (for example). IgA is the most abundant immunoglobulin in the body*. “The main function of secretory IgA is probably to prevent the attachment of pathogens, particularly viruses and certain bacteria to mucosal surfaces. This is especially important in resistance to respiratory pathogens” (source- same textbook as indicated by asterisk*)

Testing for antibodies:

Laboratory testing for antibodies to novel coronavirus: blood test (that you may get in doctors office). Tests vary from site to site. There does not appear to be one uniform test. If you are tested by blood and have had the vaccine recently – you will likely test positive for antibodies. If you are tested and have NOT had the vaccine, you may still test positive for antibodies but it is unlikely unless the body has recently been exposed to the virus (aka antigen). This does not indicate presence or lack of long term immunity- IgG alone.

General antibody testing- Having no clear antibodies by blood test does not mean the body has not developed immunity to a disease. This is because antibodies are produced after being exposed to the antigen (whatever it may be). Immune memory cells will mount a response of antibodies if it encounters the antigen again several days after being exposed and may last for a few months at most. Therefore, antibody testing is not indicative of whether a person is immune to something or not.

To address: B cells, memory cells, primary and secondary response to antigen. Further examples of antigens also to be provided. B cell activation is necessary to mount an immune response-

Differences between antigens- antigens can be bacteria, virus, parasite, anything attacking the body (foreign substance that can cause illness). Famous example- cold virus or flu virus…another common one is E. Coli which is normally present to some degree in the intestines of humans and animals but when ingested, causes serious symptoms. Often considered a “food borne” illness.

Check this out as it is very similar to what’s going on now:

Polio Scare 1935-1960. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1383764/. see The Cutter vaccine- infected 40,000 people with polio virus- many partially recovered, some suffered paralysis at the site or administration. Famous advocate against Polio- American president FDR who contracted it as an adult and became paralyzed from the waist down. Started what is now know as The March of Dimes.

Contradictions from the American Government About Covid-19:

BMJ reports that those who have recovered from Covid-19 “may only need one dose”. Comes straight from the mRNA manufacturers- Pfizer and Moderna. https://www.bmj.com/content/372/bmj.n308

Also recent reports of vaccinated (with mRNA vaccines side effects including shingles and cold sores. Not widely reported on and of course, minimized by American press. Shingles (and cold sores) part of herpes viral family. Details somewhat sketchy and unbiased info hard to find. Unbiased= raw data.

Viral vector shedding- am investigating which vaccines are “competent” in replication- meaning that they may cause disease- even if it’s not the disease that the vaccine intends.

So what’s up with the experimental Covid19 shot?

Short answer- it’s an experimental shot.

Manufactures of vaccine are claiming that mRNA vaccines have no ability to “replicate”. Have not been able to definitively find data to refute this, HOWEVER, in Pfizer’s study detailing the experiments regarding the Covid-19 shot, mention is made of “unintended recipients of treatment (aka the shot)” and defines this as “family members NOT undergoing treatment (experimental shot), fetuses of pregnant women receiving “the treatment” and infants breastfeeding to mothers receiving the treatment. This suggests that THERE IS concern that people in close contact may be exposed to substances in the shot somehow.

In live vaccines- example yellow fever or MMR- nurses are advised to tell people getting those vaccines that it is possible that they can shed the virus through close contact with family members.

That Fauci guy says a lot of stuff- should we trust him? He may be happy if nobody remembers this:

Don’t forget (reminder to self) to detail failed HIV vaccination attempts Anthony Fauci.

So Fauci did this: 2007 STEP Trial HIV Vaccine gives people HIV:

So if I get the experimental Covid shot- will I get Covid?

Some Covid-19 vaccines using viral vector techniques. Non medical terminology explanation- vaccine manufacturers are claiming that the mRNA type of “vaccine” does not carry actual Covid-19. I believe that. What they put in are “instructions” on how to make antibodies to the Covid-19 virus. But there is a catch. The catch is that there needs to be a vector (something that carries something else like a virus) for the body to accept this information. The vector that is being used in some of these shots is called “adenovirus”- also known as “common cold” .

There are many many strains of the common cold. Many people are immune to a lot of them because we have kids or leave our homes, so we’ve gotten these colds and gotten over them and our bodies remember that. That is how our bodies are designed. One issue with using this new system of vaccines is that some of us are already immune to the vector (the cold virus they use to transmit the info) and if you’re not already immune to the type (strand) of cold virus they use- you will be after they give it to you. Again, because your body remembers this cold. This is a challenge in the new “vaccine” because that means that it may not work for a lot of people. https://www.clinicaltrialsarena.com/comment/adenovirus-vectored-covid-19-vaccines-efficacy-during-a-potential-revaccination/

What are other countries doing with the Covid shots? Why aren’t they giving it to everyone?

I put “vaccine” in quotes because I am not 100% sure that this can legally be called a vaccine given that it is experimental. And yes, it is still experimental status according to every government I think in the world.

Many countries have stopped recommending the use of this “vaccine” because of the likelihood that many people may already be immune to the vector that they use.

Back to immunity by disease regarding Covid-19. (Link to NIH) https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/lasting-immunity-found-after-recovery-covid-19?fbclid=IwAR1q4YFE56tAf0IEmOCaYUSVsHhM6-A_7y2m4P-Sa_flDa8hRWmX3kWnv3k

Some of the studies have shown that people who have already had Covid-19 are having more severe reactions to the shot. Pfizer shows this-


CDC says masks decrease chance of transmitting Covid-19 by 0.5%


Medical Professionals Speak Out Against Experimental Shots and Lockdowns:


The Great Barrington Declaration

On Mandating Experimental Shots:

Federal Law Prohibits Mandates of Emergency Use COVID Vaccines, Tests, Masks — 3 Resources You Can Use to Inform Your School or Employer


The Epidemic That Doesn’t Make The Papers

By: Kristina Tehrani

2/10/2021, revised 3/16/2021

          Today I stopped by the gas station and as I was browsing for my favorite bottled tea, I happened across the newspaper stand. There were two publications- The Saint Paul Pioneer Press and the Minneapolis Star Tribune. The headlines were nearly identical. This is not a direct headline from today because I don’t recall exactly how it was phrased, but it was something along the lines of “Pandemic Rages On With No End In Sight”. As I mentioned, I don’t remember the exact wording but I DO remember how I felt reading that- depressed. I tend to not watch network news because I noticed some years ago that there seems to rarely be GOOD news; lots of death, destruction and gossip though. For the last year, the newspapers and general media has been milking the sensational nightmare of the Novel Coronavirus.

          Covid-19 began making in earnest American headlines around February of 2020. That is over one year past at this time. As of late, I have a difficulty considering Covid-19 to continue to be called “novel” because usually, the term “novel” implies “new” and often “temporary”. In early spring last year, the novel coronavirus efficiently and swiftly swept across the nation, sending probably the entire American population into a collective panic. Different people reacted differently, but I think it’s fair to say most people were terrified, or at least unusually bothered. When the pandemic came to my state of Minnesota, I reacted to it the same way I react to almost anything. I spent hours poring over research, data, studies and anecdotal accounts.

          Initially, I concluded that the virus was primarily airborne, supremely deadly, and unpredictable. The pandemic did not start in the United States; other countries had been dealing with it for weeks or months. I read studies that described the molecular structure of the virus as to be so small that it could be aerosolized and due to its miniscule weight, could take 20 minutes or so to sink to the ground. As a public health nurse, I looked to the CDC for answers. Incidentally, this is when I lost faith in the good intentions of the CDC. Their recommendations were to stay home as much as possible, wash your hands, avoid standing near others and avoid sick people. I can’t recall exactly what the recommendations were but they were saying generally “this is a symptomatic disease, and likely not airborne”. These recommendations did not seem to align with the studies I had read or any other general conclusions coming from the other countries who had been “infected” for some weeks or so earlier.

          I became suspicious of how it was that a “stay at home” mother, with some masters work in public health and no background in creating or administering a scientific study could find so much information contradicting the CDC in about 7 hours of online research. How was it that a huge organization filled with doctors, PhDs and scientists would not reach the same conclusions which the CDC later confirmed by summer of 2020? Initially, face masks were not recommended. Testing for the virus was unavailable and there was no contact tracing system in place that I was aware of.

I used to aspire to work for the CDC. Now my trust in them had wavered, to say the least. I used to accept their recommendations on most health subjects. After a year in grad school pursuing my master of science in public health, I had already been taught epidemiology. I also have a substantial background in exotic and tropical diseases due to several years working as a medical travel consultant. This novel coronavirus was not the first epidemic in the US. Not even the first pandemic. There had been epidemics and major public issues before. I did not understand the CDC’s secretive approach at all for this virus. The CDC even has an “outbreak response protocol”, which is logical, clearly stated and applies to everything from E. Coli outbreaks being traced to certain vendors to the seasonal flu. I wondered why this protocol did not seem to be occurring at any level of government health groups. They were treating Covid-19 as if all prior outbreak rules and experience were thrown out the window.

          Shortly following the (likely) inevitable spread of the virus to Minnesota, the freshman Governor of our state, Tim Walz declared a statewide emergency, which made sense at the time. However, this also seemed to cement the government’s control over everything having to do with the pandemic, which apparently was every aspect of life. Walz had just been elected Governor a few months prior to the pandemic. He ordered schools closed for 2 weeks (“to flatten the curve”) and closed most businesses with the exception of pharmacies, gas stations, grocery, liquor stores and chain department stores that sold groceries. The government endorsed reasoning behind this was “we know we’re all going to be exposed, so let’s try to minimize the entire population being sick at the same time, get our hospitals prepared so that we don’t end up with the entire population in emergency rooms at once overwhelming the health care system”. Seemed like a reasonable enough idea, although I DID wonder Well, maybe EVERYTHING should be closed for two weeks and then maybe the virus will not spread at all? However, I pushed my doubts aside since I had no decision making abilities anyways.

          However, once two weeks had passed, the emergency seemed to be either unaffected by the “lockdown” or the rhetoric changed to “we’re going to keep this at emergency level until further notice”. So two weeks became six, which then became months and now it’s been over one full year that the emergency is still at its peak or even worse. There have been constant messages by both the media and some government officials that “the worst is yet to come”. Is it though? Many people all over the world died from Covid-19, some did not die but had lingering damage to organs but many simply got sick for a week or so and bounced back.

In the spring of 2020, most people did not have access to be tested for the virus. This continued for a very long time. So, initially, most of the cases that we heard about were the severe ones- in which the patient had died or came very close to death. I had a more moderate experience. I got sick in March or April 2020. For about a week, I suspected that I was going to die. But I didn’t want to go to the hospital just in case I was wrong OR to surround myself with other sick people and catch something else that would do me in. So, I filled out a living will sort of thing, outlining where all my important documents were kept and all that, took every anti-inflammatory medication I had hoarded over the years, forced myself to eat and drink and lay in bed having mild hallucinations. After a week or two, I was feeling well enough to put trash into the trash can. From then on, I continued to feel mildly confused much of the time and had a swollen ear drum for a couple more months. It lasted all summer, really. Individual experiences with the virus have varied from asymptomatic (fairly common) to cold/flu like symptoms to death (which in the total number of infections has remained rare). So, that was my experience.

Over the summer, I met a woman who was involuntarily placed in a hospital psychiatric unit. She was in her late 60’s and had been living in a retirement home for years due to a moderate physical disability. She came to be in the psychiatric unit because after six months of isolation within the nursing home, she attempted suicide. She was not the only resident to be isolated- all of the residents were prohibited from interacting with others, both within the community and without. As far as I was told, she did not have a history significant for suicide attempts or other serious psychological disorders. She told me, “I am old, I’ve lived my life, I was lonely and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was going crazy being alone all of the time. No visitors, no pets, no interactions with anyone. I felt like it was time to end my life”.

Would this woman have attempted suicide if she had not been isolated from nearly all human contact for several months? No. No, she wouldn’t have. Isolation is a form of psychological torture that has been used historically mainly in prisons as punishment.

Minnesotans had been experiencing an almost continuous isolation for almost a full year. More often than not, there is no in person school, people are not allowed to gather in small groups, holidays have been essentially canceled, Minnesotans are being mandated to not see anyone outside of their household, ever. The rules change sometimes, but overall, we’ve been isolated from each other. I used to celebrate Jewish holidays at a synagogue. I can’t do that anymore.

My son used to look forward to going to school to interact with other kids, now “school” is him staring at the computer for hours. He was an accelerated math student. Not anymore. He used to get services for autism. Not anymore. He hasn’t played with another child since the summer, when we would go to the playground. Not anymore, not in Minnesota. It’s too cold.

My daughter is four years old. She does not understand why she has nowhere to play. It’s affecting their mental health. It’s affecting my mental health. We used to go to the art museum. Not anymore. My kids are depressed. Schools may be opening again, but for how long? Kids are also failing in this distance learning model. All kids are being affected, but those with a lack of access to technology in addition to increased barriers to special education, barriers to sports, barriers to mental health services are particularly affected. These children are supposed to be the future. What kind of environment is this to raise healthy children??

I am concerned about the increased number of suicides in our state. I am concerned about friends I’ve lost last year to drug abuse during the pandemic. I am concerned that this is going to become “the new normal”. Violence by youth is up, I believe as a direct result of lack of structure. Many people have no way to get physical exercise as gyms have been on almost permanent lockdown since March 2020.

Governor Tim Walz has had “emergency executive powers” for over a year. Some Minnesotans are fighting it, some have already moved away, some have given up. The icing on the cake for Minnesotans is that none of these measures have been proven to stop the spread of covid-19. But these measures have been proven to destroy Minnesota- financially, emotionally, educationally, and effectively. In the course of one year, it feels as if we are on the brink of a partisan civil war. It’s past time to end the Governor’s dictatorship of the state. 

Where are the cost-benefit analysis for the mandates? Where is the public attention for kids and seniors that are so lonely, they want to die? Where is the publicity for the majority of kids literally failing school? Why are we ignoring all of this? How bad do things have to get before the real emergency is dealt with? As bad as Nevada, where youth suicide became such a problem that the government mandated schools open? The warning signs that our state is crumbling are here. Please heed them. This should not and cannot be the “new normal”. This imposed isolation is unsustainable at best and killing more Minnesotans than the actual virus at worst. We need to start healing our state before the executive branch of government completely eliminates representatives and we are in the position of seeking refuge elsewhere. I am not leaving my home state.


Thoughts on Freedom of Speech in an Orwellian Time: 2084

“Cancel culture” supposedly started with the “me too” movement a couple years back. As a woman and a feminist, I supported women speaking out about sexual harassment. I still support it.

I am not sure if that truly qualifies as “cancel culture” now in 2021 (or as I like to call it 2084) as almost everything is being censored. I have never, ever seen so many “liberal” white people angry about everything. And yes, it does seem to be people who have declared themselves as “liberals” who are silencing others.

I’ve noticed that it IS usually white women (who fancy themselves as the voice for the oppressed, I suppose) taking offense at everything including asking simple questions like “I didn’t get my saliva COVID test in the mail, did you get yours?” The reactions are over the top, illogical and immature. I was called a “Nazi Fascist” for suggesting that black and white people could probably work together on some things. I was called this by a bunch of white “liberal” women. I was shocked. Do people even know what a Nazi or fascist is?

It used to be that questioning things was good. Questions used to be a encouraged, expected, even. We are currently in a society whence questions (even about the mundane) have become unacceptable. Many fear asking questions as some of us are being ostracized for asking “well, do I really need this vaccine?” Unacceptable question now. It is also unacceptable to question the government. This is dangerous. Abraham Lincoln warned that if the United States were to descend into tyranny- it would be at the hands of our own people.

Freedom of speech is very important. Americans who don’t support freedom of speech make no sense to me. Why would anyone WANT censorship? The book 1984 is one of my favorites. It’s a classic. It was probably even banned at some point. All the other rebellious teenagers I grew up with read 1984 and denounced “Big Brother”. As an adult in 2021 in the US, we’re rapidly approaching this dystopian society. Censorship has become trendy somehow. Erasing history and banning books is en Vogue. I never thought I’d see the day that I would be arguing with the same teenagers I grew up with who seem to now be wanting “Big Brother”?! What changed? Is it the whole “I didn’t sell out, I bought in” thing? Because that’s how it’s coming across.

There are a number of stand up comics, black, white, women, Asian, every type of person- all for free speech. It’s not even a liberal/conservative thing. It’s a slippery slope to silence people for anything, really. I don’t use hate speech, I don’t agree with hate speech. But should it be completely illegal? I don’t know. Maybe. But once you go after someone for using a term like, for example, “kike”- what’s to stop people using other terms, terms that have been adopted into communities and reclaimed by those who are meant to be disparaged by such terms.

I like “heeb”. I AM a “heeb” and I like joking around too. Do I have family members that died in the Holocaust? Actually yes. I never met them of course, having been born in 1981, but I have visited Israel and my German Jewish sort of second cousin by marriage- her whole immediate family was incinerated. I would have loved to talk to her more but unfortunately I speak neither German nor Hebrew. So communication with this cousin was mainly gesture based.

Things are constantly changing. They say “the only thing you can count on is death and taxes”, but I think the only thing you can count on is that every element of the universe is constantly changing, for better or for worse. Astrophysicists recently found that every element in the periodic table “move” constantly. And we already know from chemistry and physics that those elements can change and form new elements under various circumstances.

Any effort to homogenize individual thought is going to ultimately be futile, as it is not natural by the laws of science or reasoning that this is possible. Our genes as human beings even resist homogenization. When you inbreed, you have problems because too much of anything leads to problems. You don’t have to be a scientist to know that.



When I was a kid, maybe eight or nine years old, I was enrolled in the “Big Brother, Big Sister” program. Coming from a family in which I was the only sister to my three younger brothers, I really appreciated my “big sister”. Lisa was in college at St. Thomas and we did things like drink Diet Coke and play truth or dare. Lisa also liked to buy me little keepsakes, mostly journals and books. I liked the journals and books; I loved to read and write.  

A few months into our budding sisterhood, for some reason that I cannot fathom now, my sister Lisa started buying me these dolls.  I don’t recall having a particular fondness for dolls and these were no ordinary Barbie or Raggedy Ann dolls. They were these elaborately painted ceramic clowns with ornate satin costumes. In retrospect, I would call the dolls “noir”, in a way. They were not happy clowns. Their faces were lifelike, but weary, as if they had already seen too much of the world. They were certainly not meant to be played with. At my age, I had never really experienced the idea of a toy to not play with.

The dolls also came with individual display stands inside their large and partially transparent boxes. The clowns ranged in size from about 8 inches to more than a foot and a half. This was the 1980’s, I don’t remember if there was a sad clown doll fad or not, but I think I remember being with Lisa in the mall one day and seeing such a clown in an upscale gift shop and Lisa asking me if I liked it and I must have said yes or had some sort of positive reaction. To be agreeable, of course. As it turns out, I should have been honest and said “they’re a bit creepy”, but how was I to know what would follow?  To be honest, I may have manufactured that memory in order to make sense of how these clown dolls ended up becoming such a bane to my existence.

It was not very long until I found myself the reluctant recipient of one such decorative clown. After receipt of the first clown, I brushed it off as a curious but isolated incident. However, I must have too enthusiastically accepted and given her the impression that I was a serious collector because the clowns became a regular gift, almost as regular as the diaries. I recall liking one clown. It was very feminine with bubblegum pink paint and white and pastel pink ruffles. Even as a child, I could appreciate couture to some level. Perhaps that was the first clown, because they progressively became larger and more frightening from then on.

I could not tell Lisa that the clowns scared me. After accepting a half dozen of them with false enthusiasm, I was too deep into it. I didn’t consciously make the connection between these garish porcelain clowns and the evil child-eating clown portrayed by Tim Curry in the Stephen King movie “It”, which I had recently seen with my elderly Persian grandmother. However, I did notice that I had begun to develop anxiety around these clown dolls. The clowns were stored out of sight in a closet, buried underneath things I would never have a use for. I hoped that the clowns would go away on their own, but that hope remained unfulfilled as apparently, the mother of all decorative clowns was soon to be bestowed upon me. A reckoning was coming.

The final clown I got from Lisa was the largest yet. I don’t know where she found these dolls, but this one must have been nearly half my height. The most imposing stationary clown I had ever seen in person. Real people dressed as clowns had never frightened me that I can recall. It was the glassy eyes and the ivory, motionless skin of the dolls that awoke a sense of fear. The possibility of demonic possession seemed very real in some of the more sinister looking clowns.

The night that Lisa had gotten me the clown doll to trump all others, I was sleeping in her dorm room (as I often did), in the living room on a couch-alone. The clown was stationed directly across the room from me; I was right in its line of sight. The clown appeared to be watching me out of the corner of one painted eye across the room. I tried not to make eye contact and a couple times looked away, and then glanced back to find that it seemed to have crept a millimeter closer to me. I was almost in a state of panic. I felt imminently in danger and could not turn my back to this clown. I didn’t even want to breathe too heavily for fear that it would notice me, come to life, and attack. I was not sure exactly what the clown would do to me in terms of physical harm, but it was obviously menacing. Who knows what these clowns are capable of? And did I really want to find out?

I lay rigid and sleepless most of the night on the couch, uncomfortably aware of my potential assailant in the corner resting (waiting?) against its display stand. At some point, Lisa came out of her room, noticed that I was wide awake and managed to pry the truth out of me. The charade was over. Somehow, Lisa made the connection between me having seen “IT” at the age of 8 and my fear of clowns.

You see, my grandmother had shown my three younger brothers and I the IT entire mini-series on tape. Bless her heart, she sincerely believed that because there was a clown in the movie, it was funny and appropriate for small children. She truly thought that we would love it. I am not sure about my brothers, but for me, not a single night passed for the next several years that I was not plagued by dreams of murderous clowns of every variety. Almost thirty years later, I remember the details of some of these nightmares.

When I confessed my embarrassing secret to Lisa that not only was I afraid of clowns at the time, but I had also been afraid of them for awhile, Lisa realized that pretty much all of the clown dolls she had given me were resulting in anxiety and nightmares, and thankfully, she was very understanding about my white lies. I was ashamed that not only had I been lying to her by pretending to like the clowns for months, but I was also old enough to know that porcelain dolls really don’t come to life and kill people- in theory. I was embarrassed about it for quite awhile, so much so that I avoided her for some weeks afterwards. Despite the fact that she had also seen the movie and insisted that I was definitely not ridiculous at all for being terrorized by a collectible clown, I remained a bit ashamed for years. In retrospect, it must have been pretty comical for her to realize that with her limited college student finances, she had spent a moderate amount of money on accidentally scaring the hell out of me. How could she have possibly known that my clueless, foreign grandmother would show a Stephen King movie to little kids?   Even at the time, I recall my grandmother being confounded that we children were frightened by the evil clown that lured children into the sewer, severed limbs, ate them and could emerge from any water pipe it desired, not to mention a career defining performance by Tim Curry that helped bring the movie to life. When I revealed to my mother that my grandmother had subjected all four of us children to this four part bloodbath, my mother was furious. Many expletives in Farsi ensued.  

I received no further clowns following the revelation that what I felt for them was the opposite of gratefulness. If there was a lesson to be learned from this, perhaps it would be that one should not pretend to like a gift, for that gift may become a curse. Or maybe the lesson is that it’s better not to let a person who thinks Stephen King is appropriate for children babysit your kids carte blanche for extended lengths of time? I suppose I learned both.

When Politicians Say “Black Lives Matter”

This probably also goes for many people who have no idea what black people experience.

For most people who use this phrase- people who use it in an “armchair manner”, for example, it is simply a way of pretending they care. BLM has become a cause du jour briefly celebrated by many self professed “liberals” similar to the “me too” movement. Also similar to the “I’m an ally”.

Actions speak louder than words. As a woman of mixed ethnicity, when I hear white liberals profess that they support “me too” or “support people of color”- alarm bells go off. If you have to say it- that makes me suspicious. It makes me think you want to appear well educated and it also strikes me as somewhat arrogant as these seem to be largely catchphrases these days.

In my area, “black lives matter” according to our elderly, white male representative. “Black Lives Matter” also to our old, white male Governor. In fact, both take every opportunity they can to pander to every minority group while taking no action.

In fact, it’s worse than no action. When these so called supporters of all minority groups make mandates- these mandates effect everyone. Our cities have a high concentration of people of color- and they are now faced with the vaccine passport. Meaning that businesses MUST see proof of Covid-19 vaccination to let people patronize businesses. Who does this help? Who does this hurt?

Many of the issues that affect people of color affect other people too, of course. Take special education. Our Governor says “black lives matter” but the NAACP is suing him for withholding special education money.

I am just saying- and I’m sure most people of color already know this- but stop fucking pandering. What we need is people like us in office. And people of color, minorities, whatever- we’re all different too- so stop acting like we’re a homogenous group of morons who believe everything we read.

Masks Don’t Work and They Are Not Harmless



Important to note- CDC nor any other group is going to take responsibility for your inability to breathe while wearing a mask. Note from the screenshot below- the word “tolerate”. If you cannot tolerate- don’t wear. Breathing is absolutely the most essential bodily function.

Furthermore, I point out that as predicted there would be “more cases and restrictions” in the winter as in Minnesota at least, people tend to be inside more. This results in air circulation and that is why we have seasonal respiratory diseases that generally are reduced when people are outside more.

On a personal note- I was tested for vitamin deficiency, which is a very common problem in the Midwest and areas where people spend a lot of time indoors. Some people are also genetically predisposed to it, I believe. I was low enough on vitamin D that I was advised to supplement. This year, I have been noticeably less sick.

Mask mandates and a vaccine passport have gone into effect in some parts of Minnesota. This serves to compromise individual protected health information, it’s invasive, will hurt the economy in the cities where the vaccine passport has been enacted- Minneapolis and Saint Paul. These are also areas with high numbers of people of color. Once again proving that the credentials government says one thing and does another. More on this in another piece.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words: The State of Mental Health in Minnesota

So some Black Lives Matter but not others? #poliiticalpandering

One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest is still happening as suicide rates reach an all time high. But Covid! No. Stop.

#bedsfullpsych #nostigma

How Long Can Mass Hysteria Last?

An analysis of how long people will keep losing their minds over a virus that doesn’t even make the top ten list of causes of mortality- nationally or worldwide.

In March 2020, when the Covid-19 virus came to my state, I spent several hours researching it online. I admit, I was somewhat panicked for a few weeks. I wore a mask because I found from other countries that the virus was airborne. I ditched the mask before it became mandatory because I found research that cloth masks don’t help. Believe it or not, the CDC itself published the results of a study showing that transmission between people wearing masks and those not wearing masks was so similar, that the supposed level of protection from the mask amounted to a potential protection level of (at most) 1.8%.

That was published some time ago, and it was buried under at least two pages of lauding masks as the answer to Covid. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s been taken down since then.

Here in Minnesota, our cases of Covid-19 peaked in November of 2020. Interestingly, it seemed that the seasonal flu had entirely disappeared. Claims were made that masks not only prevented transmission of Covid, but also the flu! These claims were not backed up by any actual research or numbers, but they were coming from the department of health and the Governor himself (who doesn’t have a medical background, just FYI).

The cases dropped steadily throughout December and January until it seemed that they had stopped altogether. But people did not seem to notice nor care about that. There was a new player on the scene- the Pfizer shots had been given temporary emergency approval by the FDA.

People argued over who should get the shot first. Many people complained about wanting the shot and not being able to get it right away.

Meanwhile, some people were “vaccine hesitant”. As in, many of them had had Covid already, their religious beliefs were such that they didn’t want the shot or there were those of us who wanted to study whether having had the virus already conferred some level of immunity. The NIH at that time had a study out that it did. Also, some people wanted to weigh their options. Not knowing the long term or even short term side effects of the shot versus becoming sick with COVID-19- well, they wanted to see if it was worth it.

As the shots became more available- those who were wanting to wait began to be actively pressured. By everyone from the government to the medical community (the organized medical community), family, friends, everyone. Never in the history of shots was there so much obsession over whether someone else had been inoculated.

For some reason, people who were asking questions about the deadliness of the virus and the possibility of disease acquired immunity were deemed “conspiracy theorists”, “anti-vaxxers”, “enemies of science” and even “murderers”.

The mask made a brief exit as people took the shot. Then, it was found that many of those who had taken the shot were still getting the disease. Somehow that led to more pressure for everyone to get the shot, including children, who have an almost zero chance of dying from COVID-19. The FDA approved the shot for children in record time. First for teens, then for everyone over 5 years old. In less than a year.

Now, the department of health is running a campaign that essentially states that if you don’t give your child the experimental shot, you’re not only a bad parent who doesn’t care about your children, you’re also responsible for people who have gotten the shot and are still getting Covid.

Many nurses have left the profession due to vaccine mandates- which are basically active in every major hospital in the state. This has led to hospitals being understaffed. But rather than admit that this has led to the understaffing- the government and its agencies now claim that the unvaccinated (for Covid) are causing hospitals to be overwhelmed.

People have a short memory it seems. The government had said many times that the vaccine would not be mandated but it is. We are also suffering a general labor shortage due to this. The economy is beginning to suffer.

Our Governors solution? Start giving away $100,000 scholarships to kids daily who get the shot.

Never mind about the censored information about the shot being more likely to cause deadly side effects than actually prevent disease. Especially in the younger population. The same population who has a near zero risk of having severe or deadly results from getting the virus.

Somehow, the “variants” continue to cause disease despite the fact that they have not been isolated.


So, it’s been almost two years now and I genuinely thought that by now the panic would stop. But it’s taken on a life of its own. Mitigation efforts that didn’t work in the past are being re-employed.

My opinion is that as long as the media continues to sensationalize the virus- it will take a major effort to stop the panicking.

Public health experts who are not getting media attention are calling for an end to the chaos. As I’ve reported previously, isolation, mask wearing and shutting down society has not only been proven ineffective, it’s been proven more harmful than the virus itself.

But when will people give up the ghost story that they have created?

Updates from Activism

Good morning freedom fighters! Trying to not make my long posts so much work to read…

Campaign Postponed:

After thinking about it and and simply being too busy with personal stuff to run an effective campaign in a district that needs the most effective campaign possible plus a miracle, I am postponing the dreams of nagging the legislature into changing their laws. I just have a lot to learn and not enough time right now to do it. So not giving up the idea, postponing. I had polled you all awhile back to ask what is the most effective use of my time and energy as they are limited of course and the results of putting into practice what most people thought would be best (trying to do a bit of everything) didn’t work. Probably because I’m the sort that puts most of my energy into one thing at a time. So for now, I have some personal life things that I have to take care of, but also I think the activism is a better choice of how to spend time now. Well, any free time I have anyways. That and spending less time looking into campaigning because I really went into it with no knowledge and now I know alot more, which will help both me and others in the future- as I can also offer some advice for those that have less on their plate at the moment.

The Economy/Jobs/Reasons for Optimism Here:

I started research on jobs NOT requiring forced medical interventions and am finding a trend that jobs are starting to advertise “no you know what” required. I read a couple articles about this trend- the articles were biased of course but the fact remains, employers are having a hard time staying afloat without employees. Those of us who are resisting- and there are many- enough to cause a labor shortage in many industries- we are impacting the economy and impacting medical employers also. Really, this isn’t about a shot anymore (well it kind of is) but it’s more about choice. We’ve all watched the slippery slope of agreeing to be ma$ked and even those who initially got it- well now look- it’s about bodily autonomy and the right to make our own choices about our bodies and our children’s bodies. At this point, even if I felt like it was in my best interest to get it (which I don’t)- it’s about a power struggle now. And it’s my body. And I decide for my kids. No amount of money, bribery, threats etc is going to change that.
So for those of us against it for whatever reason, hold the line, we are making a difference. Ignore the media- they lie. Ignore the haters- they lie too.


As a constant thinker and frankly “worrier”, I have been thinking about what’s going on and the end game for months, even when I don’t want to be thinking about it. My conclusion and maybe this is obvious to others, but my conclusion is that with the constant messages of isolation and division we’re getting from the government- at all levels- it really feels like they’re trying to destroy any sense of community. And community makes us stronger. That’s why the places of worship were shut down, schools, being told not to visit family, many playgrounds are shut down too. They’re trying to separate us. ALL of us. We can resist by staying friends with people who maybe disagree but aren’t jerks about it. We can resist by trying to change the focus from what divides us to what we have in common. Start talking about other stuff- I am in a book club that’s mostly liberal types but we have something in common to discuss.
They want the focus to be on vacc Versus non vacc and we can’t let them keep controlling the narrative.

Staying Optimistic Under Pressure:

It’s hard. I really picked a bad time to “switch teams” lol. But I’m not even entirely sure I have switched teams. I just am critical of both sides and much more willing to listen. I will never vote Dem again after all this of course, but as an issues person- I would like to see more people also focusing on issues. I am glad I retained most of my “liberal” friends because these people are not the pushy sort anyways. I disagree with them on things but we still communicate. Also I apologize on behalf of the more outspoken ones- I think a lot of people are stressed and the best thing we can do is continue to speak up but in a way that people will listen (finally understanding that RBG quote) although I doubt many of the hard leftists understand it. People are not thinking anymore. That’s a problem. Not saying everyone- but certainly some. And some choose not to think. By burying themselves in some hobby or something. Also, people take vacations. Which is great. I can’t take a formal vacation right now but I would like to take a week of just reading and laying around and forgetting about this stuff. Recharge.


I have also come to realize these past few months as I’ve interacted with people as a potential political candidate- many people have no idea what’s going on. We are by far significantly more knowledgeable politically than they are. So, remember that when you encounter parrots online- they probably have no idea what’s going on and even if you spoon feed it to them- they may not care. As others have said, a lot of it is “virtue signaling” and yes, “sheepism”. Example- before I “woke up” I seriously didn’t know the statistics on how many police die on the job. My assumptions weren’t as strong as some I’ve heard- but facts still matter. Also, when called a “snowflake”- I really didn’t know what that meant- so if you call a liberal a snowflake, chances are you should just explain it. Same with the sheep thing. I don’t think they get it. Just say “why don’t you do some research and not believe everything you’re told?” My suggestion.

Active Liberals Do Not Understand Conservatives:

That’s not an insult, it’s the truth. Remember a year or so ago when I asked a bunch of questions about Republicans? That’s because I really didn’t know. People think conservatives don’t care about kids, the elderly, education, violence or anything else. That’s the stereotype. Part of what I’ve been doing is trying to break down barriers between those of us who can think logically. When I sit down and explain it, people AGREE with the stuff I say. It’s the stereotype that they react to. I even have liberals who want to support me in my campaign because I’ve focused on the issues. So it’s possible that we have more in common than not and we’re going to need it as it appears as if Biden is leading us down a very frightening path internationally. I’m not saying it’s anyone’s job to educate- but if you feel like it and they don’t outright insult you- may be worth a shot.

So I am backing off a bit for now activity wise- just so much going on in my life right now that really do need that week to read fiction and recharge. Won’t go through laundry list of bad luck, but I assure you- need to recharge for sure.

Sorry for the long post! I realize I need to get back to writing.

Stay strong, stay connected with others, we’re still making a difference, keep reminding people about Walz. Maybe in the spring we can have a get together so we can have a “get out the vote” sort of event? Against Walz of course.

Love you guys! Thanks for reading and happy new year! Take care of yourselves!!

People Don’t Like It When Facts Contradict Their Narrative

I just need to vent for a bit. Some people, no matter how many sources you give them, no matter how matter of fact and logical you are, simply will not accept any doubt.

I have a pretty thick skin. But it does call into question sometimes why I even bother trying to educate the willfully and proudly ignorant. I truly don’t understand. Maybe it’s because I’m a critical thinker and open to new information, but I’ve noticed a lot of adults who simply refuse to reconsider anything.

I wonder if it’s an intelligence issue or if it’s a stubbornness issue. I wonder if it’s some kind of psychological block. Regardless of the reason, it’s frustrating. And maybe that’s the intention. Annoying me into silence. These people don’t know me though. I am starting to separate the ones who are willing to discuss versus the ones who are wanting to bicker. I am also an eternal optimist. You kind of have to be in order to be trying to educate the masses

I just need a minute to say, “I have had YEARS of scholarly public health education and practice, I have a degree in science, I took masters epidemiology before the armchair critics ever heard of it. When someone says to me ‘you’re not following the science’- I wonder what in the hell they think science is?”

It’s really arrogant, rude and obnoxious. That’s all. I just had to complain for a minute.

Nursing Homes and Covid in Minnesota

Numerous issues with the handling of Covid-19 and the population that is at highest risk- the elderly. From government authorizing Covid-19 patients to be sent to nursing homes under lockdown – infecting many of the residents to rampant negligence of seniors while denying them any type of visits, it’s criminal.





Vaccines and Disease Acquired Immunity Plus Mask Problems

Disease acquired immunity:


German studies demonstrate masks cause children harm:

German Study of 25,000 Children Shows Masks Cause Harm


Masks carry infectious diseases that are much more deadly than Covid-19:

Dangerous pathogens found on children’s masks point to the need for a larger, more controlled study

Vaccine Breakthrough Cases-


This study that has been reprinted by BMJ and Yale finds that breakthrough COVID-19 cases are more common amongst “fully vaccinated” individuals. There is also the suggestion that the vaccine may not be effective in any strain beyond the alpha or initial strain.

“Breakthrough cases” now at 50% of all cases in MN.

What happened at the block party

Here’s what a couldn’t post to FB because of censorship.

The guys there were telling me their penis sizes. I didn’t ask. I don’t know why they were saying that. One said “you’re a nurse, you should suck my dick”.

I took a photos of the place afterwards. And one of the vehicles there. By the way, they were also smoking I don’t know what.