Short Stories, Political Commentary, and the Information the Government Does Not Want You To Find by Kristina Tehrani

To go in or not to go in? That is the question.

A letter to a friend:

This is exactly my thought. I stopped the testosterone and my blood pressure has been completely normal for several days. I haven’t had any of those symptoms- like that horrible headache.
The only reason to go in would be to check if I actually had a stroke via CT or MRI, get my cholesterol down asap- even if that means going on a statin- and I’m not entirely sure either of these things are enough to constitute an emergency. Urgent- sort of. Based on my research- it’s most likely I had a transient ischemic attack- which doesn’t leave any images or damage BUT is a very high predictor of having a full stroke within the year.
BUT- how likely is it for me to have a stroke if one of the essential pieces is currently missing? The blood pressure. My blood pressure remains good. Not just normal- good.
Like you- I don’t bother to clear things with a provider when I know what must be done. I didn’t notify that jerk from NK about any of this. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a quack anyways. He actually told me to eat full fat butter every day to LOWER my cholesterol. What kind of crazy ass nonsense is that?!
Anyways, any sort of cardiac situation like I experienced couldn’t have happened without the high cholesterol- so really that’s probably the most important factor right now. It’s been a week. Surely if I had organ damage- I wouldn’t be feeling better than I was in the weeks preceding the incident.
I did read that it’s important to confirm stroke or no stroke. And unfortunately I definitely had the blood pressure high enough for it, along with the headache from hell, mental status changes, some confusion….
I asked you because you are not only a reasonable person but also skeptical but also willing to use medication when it’s necessary. I’m like that too.
Too many people are either not skeptical enough or refuse to take anything at all. Whereas I know both of us prefer to avoid what we can but we also weigh the pros and cons.
I was influenced too much by my panicky state I was in- and of course- I wasn’t in my right mind- but I let people talk me into the ER- which I knew to be a mistake and it was confirmed when I got there.
Based on what I read- they should have kept me. They really really should have. But in my experience, doctors and nurses- simply cannot be trusted. I only ended up in this situation because a provider failed to inform me of the blood pressure risk- a potentially fatal mistake. Not only that- but he should have taken the cholesterol seriously too. And this is a NK provider!
If I had a primary provider that I trusted- I wouldn’t even be considering urgent anything. But I don’t. They have the equipment. But I also cannot bring myself to go.
I do have an appointment with a random PA today- I think my focus will be on the blood work. I am not even sure if I should tell her about last week at the risk of her going hysterical and sending me straight back to the damned hospital. Hospital waiting room to be more precise.
But this place that I went to when I had my stomach problems- they were competent, they were efficient, they were kind- they were classic providers. I trust them.
But there are so many potential tests and also the possibility that I’ll end up being admitted. That’s what’s truly keeping me from going. Probably I have already solved the immediate problem but what if I’m wrong? What if I did have a stroke? They usually only have that type of equipment at an ER.
I have enlisted the help of my son. Maybe it’s inappropriate but I don’t care because I know I can’t bring myself to go otherwise.
Maybe I will tell this provider what happened but keep the focus on managing stuff from home. I’ll just be honest about my reluctance to go in.
Or my son has agreed to hold me accountable and come with me.
It could save my life and I know these kids still need me.
Okay…so I’m still stuck. I know in my gut I should get checked. Maybe it doesn’t need to happen today but it has to happen soon. If it was an actual stroke- the chances of having a second one and soon are high enough that I shouldn’t risk not getting checked.
My son will have to drag me there. Because I isolate and trust few people. I think it maybe a good thing for him to see me doing something I don’t want to do because he is also not doing things he knows he should do and rationalizing it away.
I broke through to him last night.
He’s been isolating and refusing to make any attempt to make friends and he’s miserable as a result. It’s from the trauma he experienced. Plus that rigid thinking.
But I can be very persuasive when I need to be and I think I succeeded but it will take more than one pep talk to pull him out of his now habitual isolation. Self imposed. He’s a people pleaser like me. He learns from modeling behavior and I accidentally showed him to put everyone else first at the risk of his own health and happiness. I realized that last year and have been trying to be a better role model since.
Thanks for being here for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate the few people that I do feel comfortable opening up to.

Beware testosterone supplements- specifically for women in perimenopause

When I was a kid- maybe 5 or 6 years old- my grandfather had a stroke. He survived but he was 90% or more paralyzed. He lived like that for 7 years. Even at the time- I couldn’t understand how he could go on. He didn’t have the physical ability to end his own suffering.
He was a kind, brilliant, distinguished man. His brain- still seemed to work exactly the same. He was trapped in his broken body. I loved him still but I also felt so so sad for him. I don’t know if he would have ended things sooner if he could have but I remember watching my grandmother- bless her heart- trying to get him to talk again. It didn’t work and I swore I could see the look of futility in his eyes.
I can’t burden anyone that way and I can’t live like that. I just can’t. That’s why I was so terrified. It was maybe dying that scared me- it was existing in that state.
I am a nurse and I skirt the rules when it comes to how I treat myself. After those high readings- first of all- I was hysterically frightened- but I also suspect it possible I had a transient ischemic attack- a mini stroke. Those are detectable on CT and MRI. That is a warning sign of oncoming major stroke- which means I have to find a primary right away.
I fell asleep after taking every medication I could find in the house that would lower my blood pressure. This is not nursing or medical advice. This is an explanation. I was rude to people and still rude the following day. I was out of my mind at the time. Super high blood pressure will do that to a person.
I am always afraid of the hospital. Always. I dug my heels into that fear the other night. I was mostly afraid that I’d end up like my grandfather. That they’d keep my body alive regardless of whether it would work at all anymore.
Those readings I got- were accurate- but by the time I was in the ambulance- the readings were starting to go down. In fact, my blood pressure started to bottom out. Because I have essentially a pharmacy at my house- just in case.
I was still groggy but it wasn’t really possible to prove to the EMTs that I had been running that high of a blood pressure. In the ambulance, one guy talked me out of going to the hospital that I trust. That right there shows how out of it I still was. When I cried and said I was afraid of ending up paralyzed- he started asking me if I’ve been feeling suicidal. I was taken aback. I didn’t see how my story about my grandfather could be interpreted that way.
But I stayed in the ambulance anyways hoping that there would be a way to check for what had happened (maybe).
They brought me to the waiting room because by this time my blood pressure was low rather than high. I was also so dehydrated- it was not possible to get an IV in nor was it possible for them to do much blood work.
I told them- the triage people- that it seems that any medical emergency appears to be over and that maybe I should go. The nurse said “well if you do go, just let us know so we don’t waste any time here” and I said “okay”.
A friend picked me up. I went home, hydrated and did some research before going to bed. What I’ve been taking- I’ll just say it- a hormone to help with the perimenopause I’ve been dealing with. The provider I have been seeing at New Kingdom- he told me of some possible side effects. Actually- he only named one- cancer.
But when I did research- testosterone- which I was hesitant to go on in the first place- but is a hormone that both men and women produce- testosterone supplements can cause extremely high blood pressure. Which makes sense now. I did alot of research and apparently this is a well known side effect that many men and women don’t find out until they incidentally check their blood pressure or they experience something like I did. “Worst headache of my life”. That’s called a “thunderclap headache”.
So for any of you who are maybe on testosterone or frankly any medication- always do your own research because I didn’t this time and look what happened.
I’m not sure if the same effect would have happened had I not misinterpreted my fatigue that week and been guzzling espresso additionally.
Unfortunately, many times doctors don’t mention all potential side effects- especially maybe like in my case- I truly DO run low. But I do have crazy high cholesterol. Which has been worrying me for awhile now. Pretty much the last few months.
You all were right about getting checked out and I felt awful- so awful about how I responded. I’ll be sending individual apologies. But I hope this helps someone else- in the sense that 1. If you’re out of your mind because of some physical cause, you probably won’t recognize it.

Check on anything you’re prescribed and know the risks versus benefits.
I am the type of person who will still use some pharmaceuticals but I am also generally very careful.
This testosterone theory is mine. It wasn’t suggested by someone else. I did my own research once my head cleared.

Parental Alienation Part I:

My sons father has always been kind of a combative person. He’s always been insecure about himself and generally kind of unhappy. I met him when I was still married but was having some marriage issues. I married young and even though my husband was a good friend to me- we were just too young and different from each other for it to work as a marriage. I had separated from my husband and was doing couples counseling to see if there could be a way to make it work.

During this time, I met a waiter at a restaurant I frequented. I didn’t have any romantic interest in him at first but he apparently did feel that way towards me immediately.

He was eventually able to persuade me to give him my phone number. From there, I agonized over what to do. I needed a friend and I was torn about whether my marriage could be saved.

After a few months, this man convinced me that it couldn’t work with my husband and I believed him. From there, it became a tumultuous romantic relationship.

The man, Jim, saw himself as a misunderstood artist. He was moody sometimes and I did notice his overreactions to perceived slights. I also realized that this was a red flag. My husband had not been like that. I ended up ignoring the red flag and chose instead to focus on what I liked about him. He was funny, attractive, interesting and fun most of the time.

However, not only was I not ready for a new relationship- the red flags began to mount. He would sometimes mock me in front of his friends, he would get upset if I made plans without his permission. One time, I was staying over at his apartment and I was cold. He refused to give me a blanket. Another time, I told him I had to leave his apartment to feed my pet and he became angry with me. I was pretty surprised at that. Shocked, even.

As time went on, things got worse. He would “wrestle” with me but in actuality, it was more like he was physically beating me. He tried to control who I spent time with. He would give me the silent treatment when he was upset with me about something. He pressured me constantly to engage in sexual acts that I absolutely did not want to do. Even so, he actually tried to force me into it once.

I started to feel distant towards him. In retrospect, I think I was unconsciously avoiding him. I was a full time student and I also worked full time to support myself. I guess for him, that was the breaking point. He didn’t speak to me at all for a few months once I had increased my hours in order to pay my bills. But I didn’t know why he was ignoring me. I asked many times and he would not respond.

Unfortunately, by this time, I had let him move in with me. It had been more his decision than mine because his roommate had decided to move out of the state. So Jim had nowhere to go, really. He could have gotten his own apartment- but working full time would have interfered with his artistic pursuits.

Should My Son Wonder If I Listened…

Update on my son…he’s still at his father’s. I suspect he enjoys not being held accountable there. His father and I have a different opinion on child raising. Mine is that you raise a kid to one day be independent. His is…something else. Over there, my son is on easy street. No chores, no learning how to be independent, nobody championing him about “you can be whoever you want to be- you’ve already done amazing things”.
My son is still a kid really- even though he’s 16, I think he fears adulting. Perhaps he felt (like many do) that the easier road is the better one.
He has to learn on his own that it’s not.
I always fill my house with love and respect and gratitude. I think the thing that keeps him from choosing easy street completely is that he knows in his heart that if it was easy, everyone would do it. And he knows that although I DO believe in consequences and some form of structure- I do it all out of love. It’s much easier to give a man a fish than to teach him how to fish himself. I take the hard road.
He’s not mature enough to understand that. Yet.
Over there, instead of learning from mistakes, he is learning to blame others. Forcing him back here would be a mistake. The best lessons I’ve learned have been from experience. I have given him a solid foundation of right versus wrong as well as having given him tons of love and validation.
I’m currently grappling with the fact that I don’t know when or if he’ll “get it” but either way, I’ve got to take care of myself and Shoshana while he’s in this state. I’m going through a blue spell, of course. This has all come as a shock. I figure I take one day at a time and give myself space to feel sad or whatever while I also work on healing.
My hope is that in the next couple weeks- I’ll be on track to dealing with things that just feel exhausting right now.
I’ve been told several times that teenagers can be quite brutal. In addition- I don’t know how common this is- but my son has admitted to me that he’s been lying quite a bit.
I was never much of a liar myself- even during teenage years- I was honest- to a fault maybe. Did I rebel? Depends on who you ask. For me, I grew up without structure or a parent around. Not one who was particularly kind. I grew up on my own. And I became independent quickly. Out of necessity. Nobody stopped me. But the way I did it was by focusing on my future and taking school seriously. Getting a full time job so that I could support myself. While I was in school and on the honor roll. I was fully moved out and totally on my own by age 17.
And I never looked back. I forgave my parents their absence and impatience but I didn’t forget it. That’s why I still do speak to them- I never stopped- but I eventually learned that they couldn’t give me love or encouragement. So I stopped expecting or hoping for that from them.
It did catch up to me later in life though when I thought toxic relationships were normal.
I do think that I raised Kieran in the opposite way. I showered him with love and attention. I wasn’t perfect. Good example is getting involved with Shoshana’s father. But I didn’t know the guy would turn out how he did.
I know now that this did hurt my son more than I knew. Because I read his psychology and school notes. I was looking to find out how he really felt. I had thought that I had addressed this with him both through therapy and by talking to him about it. But maybe it wasn’t fully resolved. It sure didn’t help how Shoshana’s father dragged us through two years of family court and that hurt me more than the actual relationship.
But at the same time- I also vowed not to get serious about another man again until the kids are raised OR I’ve known the guy for years. Inside and out. No doubts. So I’ve been pretty much single for 9 years now. Never letting another guy hang around my kids much.
Writing is how I process things.
So- even though Kieran is currently claiming that I have caused his problems- directly caused them- I know it’s more than that. And according to his own words- yes that relationship and its aftermath was harmful BUT he didn’t acknowledge it until after he was attacked by that awful bigot in school.
So I kind of understand now where Kieran might be at. He’s confused. He needs to work through some things. It’s not helpful for him to have someone whispering in his ear that it’s all me. Because it’s not. It only confuses him more.
Anyways- the most important thing I think I need to do know is continue to care for Shoshana, take better care of myself and use this time wisely. The whole thing just blew up last week. Of course I’m not over it yet. But I will go on. The tiredness will fade I hope.

Antisemitism Seems to Never Really End

This morning I had to tell my second grade daughter about how I was assaulted for being Jewish when I was 14. Because she was asking why her brother- my teenage son- had to abruptly switch schools after being attacked and branded with swastikas. She asked “do they hate us so much they would even kill us?” And I said “yes, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. And that’s why we can never stop being Jewish. Some people hate black people, some people hate Mexicans, and some people hate us”. She said “my friend at school, I think he’s Mexican, but his skin isn’t so dark, he hasn’t had any problems that I know”. I said “it doesn’t matter how dark your skin is. They hate us for what we are- I don’t know why. It doesn’t make any sense to me either- but they don’t have a reason really. So stay Jewish”.
Israel is our homeland and the only safe place when the world turns against us again as it is now.

To Keep Fighting The Abuser or To Give Up

A narrative of personal nature that is also unfortunately affecting many women who choose to leave their abusers with whom they share children.

I didn’t know abuse could manifest in emotional and psychological manipulation until about a decade ago.

I used to think insults, controlling my movements and treating me as a subject or object rather was cruel but not necessarily abuse. I know better now.

I left my abuser while I was pregnant after he tried to have me committed to a psych unit. He did this after I refused to abort the baby, refused to accept his behavior, and started to realize that he was abusing me.

After harassing me in a multitude of ways, including through court throughout the entire pregnancy- I was traumatized.

The baby came early. My greatest fear was that he would take her away and raise her to be like him.

A couple weeks after I had given birth to the baby, he sued me for custody. Thus began a now 9 year long fight to stay in my daughters life.

I also have an older son. He is still a minor, but also he has a different father- a father that generally works with me and has generally put the well-being of our son before any disputes between himself and I. And I have done the same. In fact, we’ve never been to custody court. We’ve worked everything out on our own. My son needs extra attention because he has autism. He has grown and has improved in many ways- such as by learning to verbally speak but he still needs some help.

My daughters father has tried to make things as difficult as possible for me ever since I left him. He even reported me to CPS falsely claiming that I beat my son. The call was screened out and I was never notified until the custody battle. That is just one example of many, many things he has done to make my life as hard as possible.

I believe he enjoys this. He enjoys attempting to torture me. And there is only one explanation for why he would try to take my daughter completely from her mother when he never wanted a child to begin with.

I lived with this man for about a year or so. By the end of that time, I was so traumatized that I could barely function. I can’t imagine what my daughter faces day to day living with him. He has succeeded in making my time with my daughter much less than it should be. He tells her lies about me. He tells her that I don’t love her. That I don’t want to see her.

For a couple years after he successfully took the majority of physical custody via the corruption of family court- my daughter beat me at home. Physically beat me. I was at a loss for what to do. I almost gave up on her. People told me to not give up. I suspected that I couldn’t give up and be able to live with myself so I stuck it out.

The manipulation and harassment from her father has never ceased in these many years. I am in and out of legal situations regarding her- trying to protect her, trying to keep her in my life. Trying to love her. To show her that she is loved. Show her that none of this is her fault.

It’s been 9 years of this. Incessant attempts on his end to fight with me and I am tiring of it. I want peace. I want that time that is spent in battle to work, to raise my son, to do so many things. But I also feel like I can’t give up on my daughter.

But I am weakening. I have been sick for years now. On and off. The battle is taking its toll. I have ignored my own health for so long in favor of the health of my children.

Something needs to change. Because my daughter is now becoming an abuser by proxy. She is cruel to me sometimes. Calls me names, refuses to follow rules, is very disrespectful and entitled. I am certain she lies to third parties on behalf of her father.

I don’t know what to do. If I give up- I think I can recover and live peacefully. I know I cannot stand much abuse from my daughter for very long. Not anymore. It’s killing me. And I have my son to think of.

I have decided to try one last thing. To show her the strength I have and to not tolerate abuse from her. If she is in agreement and will stop abusing me, I will keep fighting to be her mother. If she refuses, I need to choose peace and the child I can still save.

Vice President Nominee Tim Walz Lawsuits Accumulated in Only 1.5 terms in office MN

A short list of the literally hundreds, if not thousands, of lawsuits against Tim Walz, Democratic Vice Presidential hopeful 2024 election.

Withholding special education money lawsuit Saint Cloud NAACP

https://www.sctimes.com/story/news/local/2019/02/12/st-cloud-naacp-sues-minnesota-special-education-funding-schools/2815453002/

Emergency powers abuse:

https://www.house.mn.gov/Caucus/View/NR/43558

Fraud: Feeding Our Future

https://minnesotareformer.com/2022/09/30/when-did-gov-tim-walz-know-about-the-feeding-our-future-fraud/

State of MN sued for attempting to withhold funds to certain schools and students due to religion:

https://www.becketlaw.org/case/loe-v-walz/

Overuse of affirmative action in hiring:

https://www.thecentersquare.com/minnesota/article_3bb88094-139d-11ef-84f4-e37ee74846db.amp.html

Post Emergency Powers Lawsuit- dismissed at the time by Supreme Court revisited as “still relevant” in 2023 due to continuing impact of Walz’s executive decisions:

https://www.mprnews.org/story/2023/02/08/lawsuit-over-walz-pandemic-powers-will-continue

Financial Discrimination Against Farmer for Being White Male:

https://pacificlegal.org/case/nistler-mn-farm-down-payment-discrimination/

Not a lawsuit but still relevant- how Tim Walz retired immediately before being called to active duty:

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/campaigns/presidential/3117493/tim-walz-used-incorrect-backdoor-process-to-retire-from-national-guard-his-superior-officer/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Pmax_USA_Magazine_21-June-Intent-Audience-Signals&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD8dCuzYLIm5cuw_dZ-5lOR8JGJxe&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI36qf44CBiAMV7nF_AB23Fw8-EAMYASAAEgIUKPD_BwE

Covid Eviction Moratorium Lawsuit:

https://casetext.com/case/heights-apartments-llc-v-walz-1

Tampering and Rerouting Criminal Cases to his Attorney General and Others:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/minnesota/news/tim-walz-ryan-londregan-ricky-cobb-case-hennepin-county-attorney-mary-moriarty/

Tim Walz illegally and unconstitutionally shuts down houses of worship in MN lawsuit:

https://www.americanexperiment.org/walz-loses-in-court-settles-with-churches/

Antisemitism is Against Patriotism in the USA

This is really more to raise awareness than anything else. But just please know that Jewish children in the US are afraid to even admit being Jewish for all the attacks- physical, verbal, etc.
My son, the sweetest kid in the world- the kid who opens doors for strangers and struggles with communication due to his autism…doesn’t need to be attacked again and have other kids drawing swastikas on his body….he is still recovering from that.
He learned a lesson that I believe he will never forget. We Jews are here in the US at the pleasure of the common people and the only safe place for us- the only place we are guaranteed refuge- is Israel. So many of our people have died or converted for simply being born Jewish. We are only a small percentage of the world population now.
I thank all my friends of all faiths who continue to support, defend and pray for our fellow humans. The stereotypes out there are not true. We are just like everyone else. Each one of us different, an individual. And as Ann Ryand famously said “the smallest minority is the individual”.
I have no quarrel with people of other faiths. Nor of other ethnicities. Or even political affiliation. My only quarrel is with those who use violence against others out of ignorance and prejudice.
In America, we are a melting pot. A land of laws, not men- per one of our best founding fathers, John Adams, second President of the US and veteran of the revolutionary war.
Religious persecution is what drove people here, to “the new world”. I can’t condone some of what was done many years ago in the name of anything- I just know that we have laws and not a king that we must follow and obey in all matters.
This is freedom. Or possibly as close to it as we can get. That all men and women are created equal regardless of our ethnic background, sex, religion and are judged by the merits of our character alone.

Your Legal Rights

Free legal advice from someone who is not a lawyer! If you have not committed a crime, do not admit to committing one. Even if you’re threatened with having to wait in a hot room for hours and then threatened to wait again later for an additional four hours under similar circumstances on a different day.
Also, some public defenders may not actually advocate for your best interests. And never agree to something you’re being coerced into.
Also, know your rights. It’s gross how screwed up the legal system can be sometimes when both parties are aware of what is true yet still pursue the incorrect path regardless of the truth.
That’s something my father taught me. Lawyers (some, not all) just want to crush their opponent. Whether it’s fair or right or neither.
I learned on my own never to give in under coercion unfortunately. So I will never again advocate against what is right. Nor will I perjure myself under pressure. So bring on the heat, the waiting, the threats….soemone who has committed no crime need not admit guilt for the sake of convenience. In fact, I would argue that doing so is actually unethical.
Oh, and what happened to “innocent until proven guilty”? And pleading the 5th? This is why we need more civics in school. People don’t know their rights as Americans. Rights that people fought and died for.
In England, there is no presumption of innocence until proven guilty. And I might be wrong but I think they are also subject to questioning without having access to an attorney.
Anyways, don’t be wanton. Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.